Cooking Sucks.

Fast, easy recipes and kitchen tips for those who hate to cook, but feel like they have to anyway.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

5 Minute Veggie Burgers

-= Exported from BigOven =-

5 Minute Veggie Burgers

I'm not a vegetarian. In fact, I tend to be annoyed by vegetarians more than anything else. I have often found myself curious about vegetarian or even vegan cookery, but unfortunately, most of the vegetarians I have known or met have driven me straight off the culture. If you are veg-head and reading this, slap the shit out of your tofu-eating companions the next time they come off as uppity morons. You'll do the movement a world of good. Having said all that, upon occasion, I open my refrigerator and find jack-shit inside. The cupboards are often worse off than the fridge. Today is such a day.

Recipe By: posted by Jake at 7:40 PM
Serving Size: 4
Main Ingredient:
Categories: <5 Ingredients, beans, vegetarian

-= Ingredients =-
2 Cans of Bush Baked Beans ; drained
1 Egg
2 tbsp oil
1 -4 cup barbecue sauce

-= Instructions =-
Mash the beans, egg, and bread crumb with a fork or potato masher. Form into patties with your hands. The best way to do this is to get your hands wet first so the gunk doesn't stick. Grab a wad of the bean-dough, and roll it into a ball, like playdough. If you're truly anal retentive, you can use an ice-cream scoop to make sure you get equal amounts.

Once you have a ball, squish it flat with your wet hands, and plop it in the already-hot pan, which is set to medium high. Wet your hands again, and repeat.

Fry in a hot pan with 2 TBSP for 1 minute per side on medium-high heat (more if you're so used to burnt food that you've come to enjoy it). Drizzle with BBQ sauce. Serves 4.

Done. Serve with nuked veggies from a can.

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Yes. Cooking does, in fact, suck.

Let’s face it. Cooking sucks. You hate cooking and it shows. If it wasn’t for your stupid husband and his stupid mother, you’d own stock in McDonalds and Applebee’s. The picture to the left of this text-wall pisses you off. You cook because you have to. You do it to impress, show love, save money, or because if you don’t, you’ll never hear the frigging end of it.

Welcome to the world of CookingSucks. I don’t care if you can’t boil water. Doesn’t matter if you’re working three jobs, have two kids, a dog and a learning disability; this blog is for you. Your mother the chef is coming to visit? So what. Potluck at church? Don’t sweat it. Birthday for dear, dear hubby, and you forgot to buy him something? BREAKFAST IN BED. That’s right. I said it. And you can do it.

Let this blog be an inspiration for you- for once some asshat who loves to cook won’t be shoving tips for using chervil in your face. Instead of the usual crap disguised as easy and fun, when in fact it is frustrating and ridiculous, here you’ll find recipes and techniques that will help you produce good food without wanting to eat a bullet. Here, you’ll never find techniques that require a cuisnenart and the patience of Job. No recipes that require you to be a stay at home slave with the determination of a marathon runner.

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